


as time goes by, you're meant for me

by dizzy



Category: Bones
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-18
Updated: 2009-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 07:39:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Inside the wind and rain of life's uncertainty,<br/>I cling to one thing... wait for me.</i><br/>-Steve Forbert</p><p>Written for Kayla.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as time goes by, you're meant for me

Jack Hodgins feels like the universe is taking a great big dump on him right now.

A month ago, he was engaged. A month ago, he was in love.

Not to the same person, but that didn't really seem to matter much. In a weird and fucked up way, he really did have it all. He got to go home every night to the person he loved. He got to plan a future with the person he was going to marry. The two halves of him seemed to interlock perfectly. Angela was never jealous of Zack. Angela didn't know she had a reason to be.

As soon as Zack left, things started to unravel.

Hodgins realizes now that Angela was never going to be enough to sustain him on her own. He's surprised it took as long as it did. He's more upset at the idea of losing the life he'd begun to really believe in than actually losing her. As soon as she's gone from his bed, he begins to let himself think about the things he buried for so long.

He's in love with Zack. He's not sure when or why or how it happened, but when he wraps his hand around his dick it's Zack he's thinking about. When he feels that ache in his chest like there's an elephant sitting on it, when he feels so lonely miserable he can hardly draw a breath, it's because Zack isn't there anymore.

So he goes to see him. He sits across the table from Zack and he thinks of all the things in his life that he never counted on happening.

"I bet I could buy your freedom." He says.

"No." Zack doesn't even bother looking up from the puzzle Hodgins brought him. "You won't."

"Zack. Look at me, buddy."

Zack lifts his head, looks him dead in the eye. "Yes?"

"I love you. I'm in love with you."

Zack's expression changes. Hodgins would almost call it a wince. "I..."

"Speechless, huh?" Hodgins grins. "Cool.."

"I didn't kill him." Zack says, almost spitting out the words.

"What?!"

"He is dead because of me, but I did not physically commit the act of murder. Dr. Sweets seems to think that this is relevant, but I told him he couldn't tell anyone. I don't want to go to prison. You said-"

"Hey, I remember what I said."

"Why do you love me?"

Hodgins shrugs. "Wish I could tell you."

"Do you wish you didn't?"

"I... no. I wouldn't... change it."

"What about Angela? You were going to marry her."

"Yeah." Hodins looks down at his hands. "But I couldn't."

"Because of me?"

"Partially."

Hodgins waits, lets Zack puzzle over this in his own way. Finally, Zack says, "I'm not sure how to respond to this declaration."

Hodgins smiles crookedly. "My time's almost up." He puts his hands on the table, preparing to brace them there while he stands up.

Zack's hand shoots out and covers his, glove rough but warm against his skin. "You'll come back?"

"Of course."

"I think I'd like to kiss you."

Hodgins blinks. "What?"

"I'd like the experience of kissing you."

Hodgins glances up to the corners of the room instinctively.

"There are no cameras." Zack says. "Not in this room. Our privacy is ensured."

Zack stays seated, but Hodgins gets up and walks around the table. He looks at the door, at the windows. There's no one within viewing range. Hodgins is still frowning.

Zack's mouth opens, like he wants to say something else but he doesn't. Hodgins finds himself staring at that mouth - sweet lips, soft and... yeah, kissable. He leans down quickly, before he can change his mind. The abstract concept of being in love with a man is a far cry from sharing saliva. But it's a nice kiss - a really nice one. He puts his hand on the back of Zack's neck and licks at Zack's bottom lip. Zack makes a little noise, a gasp or maybe just a slightly labored breath.

"Oh." Zack says, looking up at him with wide, surprised eyes. "I didn't think I would get sexually aroused by that."

Hodgins laughs and lets his hand fall away. "I've gotta go. I'll be back on Wednesday, okay?"

Zack nods. "I'll have had time to formulate a response by then."

Hodgins can't decide if that's more of a threat or a promise. He leans down and presses a kiss to Zack's forehead. Zack's eyes are closed when he pulls away. "See you then."

*

 

It's almost been a year.

Hodgins goes to visit him twice a week. He refers to them as dates sometimes, because it makes Zack smile a little. He brings case files and presents - puzzles and DVD sets, since Sweets has managed to convince them that Zack is on the road to recovery and therefore not a threat to life or limb and now they let Zack have a television set. He's working on getting him a laptop next, but Sweets isn't sure that'll happen.

It's weird, having a boyfriend in the loony bin, but not too bad. It eases the blow of losing Angela, makes it easier to walk away after they sleep together when Roxie dumps her.

He doesn't tell Zack about that. They don't really talk about sex, but there have been a few exceedingly nice kisses.

Knowing Zack, he wouldn't be jealous over Hodgins having sex with someone else. But knowing Zack, Hodgins doesn't really want to take that chance.

What he isn't expecting is the look of raw hurt on Zack's face when Hodgins excitedly begins to tell him about an experiment that he and Mr. Nigel-Murray did.

"-and then... we... what?" Hodgins trails off, frowning. "What's that look for?"

"You're doing experiments with someone else?"

"I... have to." Hodgins fumbles and then says. "For the... to solve the cases."

"Of course." Zack seems to recompose himself, sitting a little more straight in his chair.

*

 

"I know you told me not to escape again, but I had to." Zack says, all in a rush so Hodgins won't interrupt him. He's standing on Hodgins front doorstop in his white scrubs and white sneakers with a backpack slung over his shoulder.   
"Why?"

"Because if we don't engage in sexual relations, you will lose interest with me. You'll find someone more able to satisfy your natural biological urges as well as your desire for intellectual stimulation via experimental procedures."

"Zack." Hodgins groans and pulls him inside the house. "Who 'helped' you get out this time? Whose card did you swipe?"

Zack looks down, guilty and miserable. "Yours."

"Zack!"

"I'm sorry but I had to." Zack paces the lengths of the front hallway, anxiety practically radiating from him. "Because my entire basis for living is in question now but you are constant and I, I can't, I just can't-"

"Whoa, hey, buddy." Hodgins puts his hands on Zack's shoulders. "Calm down. Take a breath. It's okay."

Zack obediently sucks in a deep breath and then slowly releases. "I'm sorry but I felt that this situation warranted a break out."

"What _situation_?"

"You. Breaking up with me."

"Zack, you-" Hodgins stops talking and pulls Zack closer to him. Zack lurches forward, bringing one hand up to Hodgins' chest to stop them from colliding. "I'm not gonna break up with you. Stop freaking out."

"But I can't do experiments with you, or have sex."

"I know."

"And you like... experiments. And sex."

"I do."

"And I can't have them. With you."

"I don't care. Hey, I happen to like you more than sex, okay? Trust me. I've just gotten really... reacquainted with my right hand."

Zack almost smiles at that.

"And as for the experiments... I have to, for my job, for the Dr. Brennan and Booth. But that is not an indicator of how I feel about you."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Hodgins smiles and kisses him, not for the first time but for the first time knowing that there's no chance of them getting caught by a security guard. It definitely makes a difference.

Zack's hand grasps his arm. "Don't make me go back tonight."

"Okay." Hodgins says,

"Really?" Zack actually looks surprised.

"Hey." Hodgins grins and pulls him a little closer. They're pressed together now from knee to hip to chest. "Trust me. I'm not turning you down on the sex thing. I just think you shouldn't make a habit of busting out of the loony bin for a booty call."

"Okay." Zack just blinks at him, and it's so ridiculously endearing that Hodgins has to kiss him again. He can feel Zack getting hard, erection pressing against Hodgins. Part of him wants more, wants everything, right now. His little slip with Angela was fulfilling on a physical level but it lacked the connection that he likes. Sex is okay. Sex with someone he loves is more than okay.

Sex with someone he loves for the very first time? He's not going to rush this. He kisses him again. "Hey, you want some food? Do they even feed you in there?"

"They feed me." Zack says, on autopilot... as his mouth so often is. "But I am hungry."

"Come on. We'll order pizza." Hodgins takes his bag from him and leads him into the house.

*

 

Zack's skin is pale enough to rival a porcelain doll, though he's anything but fragile.

He is not as hesitant as Hodgins would have expected, nor is he modest at all. He strips like he's in a locker room and once naked, sits on the edge of Hodgins bed. His cock is hard, jutting upward and already shining with moisture at the tip.

He watches Hodgins undress like a starving man at a feast, though, and it sends little shivers of excitement through Hodgins' body.

"I've never done this with a man." Hodgins says.

"Nor have I." Zack replies. "But I have memorized a number of the most common sexual posit-"

"Shut up." Hodgins says, and with a hand on each shoulder pushes Zack back onto the bed. "None of that textbook talk."

Zack licks his lips and nods. "I don't know what to say now."

"So don't say anything." He straddles Zack's body. His cock is fitted nicely in the hollow of Zack's hip, and that feels good so he follows his instinct and thrusts. Zack gasps and turns his head away, baring his neck. Hodgins can't resist that soft expanse of flesh and kisses it. Zack feels warm and alive and tastes like salt and the faint bitterness of soap underneath. He seems to like being kissed there, so Hodgins does it again.

He reaches down between them and takes Zack in hand.

Zack groans, and it's probably the most emotional sound Hodgins has ever heard come out of his mouth. He's instantly addicted to be able to make Zack make those noises, so he squeezes his fist around the head and then tugs, slides his fist up and back down until Zack is gasping.

"H-Hodgins," Zack stutters and groans and his cock jerks and then he's coming, thick spurts that cover his belly and Hodgins' hand. "Oh, oh..."

"Yeah, just like that." Hodgins says, smiling, kissing his jaw. Yeah, that was a little soon, but Zack's young and they've got all night.

*

 

In the morning, he calls Booth before he wakes Zack up.

He spends five minutes getting chewed out and then Dr. Brennen steals the phone and demands that they all at least have breakfast before Zack is taken back to the psychiatric hospital. Sweets makes it very clear that he wants absolutely no part of any of this.

Zack is in the bed, curled up in fetal position with his arms wrapped around the pillow that he must have swiped as soon as Hodgins left.

Hodgins stretches back out on the bed, on top of the covers but still naked. He leans over Zack and kisses his shoulder. "Hey, lover boy. Time to rise and shine."

Zack looks at him sleepily, and then smiles. The smile goes straight to Hodgin's gut and makes the tips of his fingers tingle.

"Oh, man." Hodgins whispers. Zack gives him a curious stare. "I really don't wanna send you back."

And that was probably the wrong thing to say, because Zack's face falls and he rolls over.

"Hey, hey. Don't be like that." Hodgins presses himself against Zack's back, his arm around Zack's chest. "It's not gonna be for forever."

Zack doesn't say anything for a couple of minutes. Hodgins stares uneasily at the alarm clock, but can't bring himself to tell Zack that they need to leave.

"Jack?" Zack says. It's probably the first time he's ever used Hodgins' real name, last night's sex included.

"Yeah?"

"When I get out, can we do experiments again?"

Hodgins would laugh if Zack's voice didn't sound so very small just then. "Yeah. We can do all the experiments you want."


End file.
